Ecclesiastes 12:1 (NIRV)
“Remember the One who created you. Remember Him while you are still young. Think about Him before your times of trouble come. The years will come when you will say, “I don’t find any pleasure in them.”
It was in 2007 when I first encountered the holy presence of God. Since that day, I knew that my life would never be the same again. I was a workaholic and a competitive high school student who was busy with various organizations. I am a writer, a musician, and a performer. My friends usually admire me for my talents. But I always tell them that I owe everything to God and the only way to thank Him is to share what I have. I thought serving the people would be enough. I realized later that I was totally wrong.
After bargaining with God for several years, telling Him that I will commit to a ministry as long as He answers all my prayers, I was consumed by my talents. Little by little, I felt that all His gifts were slowly getting lost, and my life became chaotic. No more high notes, no more gracious dances, and no more awesome beats to be offered to Him. Truly, it was entirely my fault. I did not use my gifts for His glory so I ended up being empty.
I allowed this emptiness linger until I started to feel even guiltier and more convicted by the Holy Spirit. The preaching at the church always prods me to make an action, go back, and serve Him through my God-given talents. However, though I heard the Word, I did not make any move. I just let His message pass by.
For the past ten years, I have been dealing with this kind of life. Then one day, I realized the great power of God. His patience to pursue me was truly incredible. He waited for almost 10 years for me to open my heart to answer His calling. Who am I to make Him wait? At first, I really did not know the answer. All I know was that, I need to finish my studies, find a job, and sustain my life.
Then, September 2017 came. I was reminded by the verse from James 2:17, “Faith without work is dead.” I started praying again and asked for His wisdom. I told Him that this time, I am ready to make a stand. I need to make a move. I am too thirsty for His presence and I really want to be part of His growing family who serves wholeheartedly. Every day, I prayed harder, longing for His answer.
Finally, the Creative Worship Media invited me to be part of their team. The moment I saw their announcement looking for writers, my heart skipped a beat. That day, I knew it. This is God’s answer to my prayer. I refreshed my memory of 2007, and I felt the same feeling. But this time, it is my ultimate calling from Him. It’s like hearing God saying, “Yan, I waited for you.”
I believe that today, I have fulfilled my promise to God. No more compromising, no more postponing because this time, I want to glorify Him and make up for all the delays I have caused and for all the callings I have missed.
This time, I will go farther with my faith. I will go stronger with my race. I will go beyond in everything for His glory’s sake!
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